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Still, as Tony gave as a grand tour of what almost looked like a 300-acre estate lake, the carp appeared to be havin’ it off. In big stylee form too. Peg One was occupied by Tony’s brother – Alan – and he’d been pulling them out left, right and centre.

As we mooched around the pool, Tony informed us about the catches the week before. The outcome was 150 fish between four them. “150 fish!” And not little ’uns either. This place gets fished a lot – and a lot of bait goes in, so as a result, the pups that were first introduced are now whales! There’s carp to 55lb, with shed loads of 40s and 30s. “Interested in cats?” Tony quizzed us? “Ash stepped forward and looked quite keen on the idea.

Now Etang du Moulin de Bley has cats all right. Up to 60lbs to be precise. However, just ‘over the road’ is the ‘Cat Lake’. Now this is the place if you wanna catch a whacker. They go to over 100lbs. But that’s another story. For now, we needed to get the end tackle out. Oh, before that though… The draw.

Accompanying Rob and myself on this trip is Ash, who came over here last year, and Mark from Danson Angling. Ash, the sweetheart, did all the driving over in France, and to our amazement, found the venue first time for us. Good lad.

The draw was to be simple: four bits of paper with a number written on each bit. If you got the paperwork with ‘1’ on it, you got first choice. If you were the unfortunate one to get ‘4’, you had last choice. Either way, it mattered not as all the swims will produce, however, Pegs 2, 3 and 4 looked sur-weeet with fish bubbling and rolling all the time.

So guess what numb nut here pulls out. Number bloody four. I always come out last in the draws. Anyway, after much debating, Ash when in ‘4’, Rob in ‘2’ and Mark in ‘3’. I headed around to the other side and fished ‘5’, with the rods pointing in the direction of the tree-line that had been so damn productive for Ash last year.

To the swims! We had plenty of kit, but we had tons of carp food! CC Moore’s award-winning Odyssey boilies were to make up most of the carp dietary needs for the next fivedays. However, we had some more in reserve. 25kgs of their stunning Betaine Pellet Mix. Loadsa different sized pellets all in one bag.

Yum. By the time we’d fart-arsed about getting biv-wacks, rods, reels and other fishing necessities to our chosen pitches, it was dark. ‘Bag and whack’, I thought and that’s what I did. It was a glowing feeling, when, at just past midnight the right-hand rod let out a smashing ‘TING’ sound as the line left the line clip as some monstrously large carp made off with the hookbait. A good fight followed, and soon I was gliding my first ‘Carp Runs’ carp over the cord and clipping his nose against the spreader block. “Damn and blast,” I muttered. It was hooked just outside the mouth. It looked a good thirty too. Back she went and it was still 0-0.

Kent lad, Mark, was having it away already. ‘Crap’, here we go again. Last time we fished with Mark, it was way back in 2004 when we headed over to what was then known as JRC No.1. Mark and his matey were having it right off, so since then, we know he’s got the ‘skills’. Who’s idea was it to invite him?

Anyway, Mark had landed a few – mostly 30s and a huuuge catfish which topped the scales at 40-odd pound. Nice start. Rob managed to get on the score sheet and so did Ash. I had to wait until half 9ish before one of the rods ripped off. It was an odd fight – then it boiled on the surface… It was a grass carp! I then netted it, did something to the net that sounded a little odd, and then the grassy when mental and snapped my net. Grrrrreat. Less than 24hrs old and I’d already broken something.

Ash, being the kind gent that he is, lent me his new purchased, super expensive net, whilst he tried to repair mine using branches, sticks and braid! The outcome was literally ‘ real tree’!

After getting everything sported, I was ready to settle down, think things through and get on with the session. PVA bags right tight under the overhangs looked the best bet. I donned the multi coloured brown and green waders, grabbed the landing net pole and went for a wonder. It all felt good and after a little ‘branch removal’ it was ready to go.

Wychwood Neutral PVA Bags rock. They so Goddamn do! My set up was running Square Pear Leads, fished Shocka stylee with a short threeinch hooklink. The CC Moore goodies were placed in the bags, then loving crafted so they looked like oranges and then cast as best I could under the branches. It all looked too good.

The hours ticked by and the fish list was forever growing. Mark was having it away during the morning and late afternoon, but couldn’t get a bite during the night, Rob was getting bites at pretty much anytime and the numbers of fish sat in front of him was frightening. Ash and myself were both fishing to the tree-line and it was obvious they weren’t there in numbers, and the ones that were there, weren’t the big boys and girls. They were in front of Rob and Mark. Mark was proving that by taking two 40s and numerous 30s. The little toad.

Ash’s rods had remained static for a bit, so a move was on the cards. It looked nice down by the island – almost opposite where Rob was pitched up. An hour later and he was ready to rock and roll. And it didn’t take him long either. A run of fish, which included a 29lb 4oz, 28lb 6oz, 26lb 2oz, 27lb 6oz and a 30lb 6oz, soon proved he was on the right spot.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t that focused on catching fish as I was breaking nets. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never broke a net in my life and now I’d smashed my one up, which was shortly followed by Ash’s new, super expensive one! I was trying to break the net down, when “CRACK!” I did the usual double take and preyed it hadn’t just happened – but it had. Poo nuts.

Now we’ve got plenty of options at this place, just one of the reasons why we fell in love with it. You can either go on a ‘drive and survive’ type set up, or go allinclusive. We opted for the first. At the venue there is everything you could ever want for. It was like Christmas Day when Tony opened the storeroom and showed us what sugary delights he had on offer. Biscuits, cakes, drinks… everything was there. They also have a large range of tackle and bait which you can purchase.

There is also a kitchen, shower room, and if you so wish, the landowner and pure gentleman, Jules Mark, will do you a BBQ that is out of this world. We went for that on the Wednesday night. Before that kicked off, we headed into the local town to visit its supermarket – The Casino. I swear to God the French have soooo much better food than us. With the wagon loaded from top to bottom with lush food, we returned to the venue.

I was getting into the action now and starting to crave some chunks out of Rob and Mark’s lead in the ‘fish stakes’. It proved again though, that the big ’uns were definitely hanging around with each other as I was getting a run of low- to mid-twenties. Don’t get me wrong, it was lovely to get plenty of bites, but when Roberto and Markus are smashing out the big ones, you want a bit of the action.

However, my time was to come. I was now in the lead (yay!), and on the final night, I had a two bleeper (like most of my bites as I was fishing locked up) before I did the old ‘struck and trot backwards’ routine. It felt heavy this time. With two nets down, I had to resort to using just the net with the spreader block. Gee, it wasn’t easy, but it had to do.

I could see it in the moonlight as it boiled a couple of time right in front of me. Then, there it was. It looked like a hippo as it lumped himself on the surface and sat there waiting to be netted. It went in! I called Ash. Nothing. Rob was next on the list, so I gave him a buzz. It looked massive – in fact it could have been twice as big if only it had the length to match its belly. Still, if these fish keep growing at the rate they are, it wouldn’t be long before it throws up some super-sized fish.

It weighed in at 44lb 8oz. That wasn’t the end though. That fish had wiped out one of my other rods, so I redid the first and just as I was about to sling the second out into the darkness, a large fish rolled no more than 30yrds from the bank. ‘That’ll do,’ I thought. An hour later, it was ripping! On contact, it concluded it couldn’t be anything but a catfish. Now you try netting a catfish with just a net with no handle. I deserve a bloody medal!

Oh we loved it. Ash, our shaven-headed Londoner friend loves it. He really does. This is no lie: Ash was that excited about returning to the place, he packed and unpacked his kit five times just to make sure he didn’t forget anything. We mock, but we loved it that much that next time we return we’ll do the same! In all, it really is the one. Huge, pretty fish (look at the different strains in the piccies), a top bailiff, a top owner, and set in truly awesome surroundings. Go the t’internet? Go to www.carpruns.co.uk and look at the pics, the prices and then book up – because you’ll want to after seeing that lot! Or call Tony on: 01406 540760 or: 077 699 16368. Another modern way to get hold of him is via e-mail, drop him a mail to: tony@carpruns.co.uk.

So there you have it. Between us we caught tons and tons of poundage of carp. It was fun. And lovely. And relaxing. And we didn’t want to leave. And can we come back. Like now?!